Interview Blues

I've been looking for a job for a while now. It used to be that no one would contact me for an interview, until finally someone did, and then that company would invariably offer me a job. I suppose that might be "lucky", although generally speaking the companies and I were both terribly desperate, so that the match was not necessarily based on any criteria other than "pays my rent" and "fills the chair".

This job hunt has been different. The good news is, I have gotten to interview with a wide variety of companies, and it's giving me a good idea of what I like, what I can live with, and what I can't. The bad news is, beggars can't be choosers, and I have yet to get an offer.

But there are a few practices that I absolutely can't abide, and the employers who use them are apparently banking on the economy never getting better, because I can't imagine who they might appeal to.

One is the employer who announces early on that it's a bad economy, they're offering xyz (xyz usually being far, far below the going rate for the services and qualifications they are looking for), and "anyone should take it because they're lucky to even have a job." I can envision jerks like this yelling this tripe through bullhorns at children slaving away in some Third World factory. Not someone I'd want to deal with.

Another strange custom is the interviewer who does not ask any questions. They sit down, talking about the position, the company, themselves, their children, spouses, hobbies. . . and then they ask you if you have any questions for them, oblivious to your look of confusion. They are hoping that you do, indeed, have a question, because it will allow them to go off at length again, demonstrating their knowledge. If you're this disinterested in what I have to say before I've even started working with you, I can hardly imagine what it will be like after. I envision this person standing at my desk, yammering on and on over me, day after day.

Finally, there are the incredibly specific job requirements. I understand that some jobs require specific knowledge and training. If you need someone who speaks Japanes, and that's a requirement, I understand that I probably would not be your candidate, as I don't speak that and it would take me a long time to learn it. But when you insist that the marketing applicant have already done this exact job previously, as in, this exact industry segment, this exact product, this exact skill set and responsibilities and title. . . well, you're probably going to end up with someone who did this job and then for some reason either lost it or didn't want it any more. That probably explains why these jobs go online, go away as filled, and then come back two or three months later.

I've seen dozens upon dozens of common interviewee mistakes. I wonder if anyone ever compiles what not to do when you interview someone.